This One’s For the Girls

Well hello there! I’m so sorry that I have taken a little hiatus from writing, but I’m back now! Things just got a little crazy towards the end of summer and since we are heading into my favorite time of year, (October-December are the best months of the year, non-negotiable) I will be sure to write on the reg and update you with all my fall ideas, thoughts on life, and general advice that I like to think I can offer.

I was compelled to write today’s post for a number of reasons. One of the main ones being, that more than half of my group of friends, that are not married, have gone through breakups in the past six months and there are a few main thoughts I’ve gathered from this. Second, I just started reading “You are a Badass” by Jen Sincero and I think that  I have now found the answers to all of my problems ever. If you have not picked up this book before, you need to stop what you are doing RIGHT NOW, go to Target, and buy the book. It’s literally 20% off right now and you have no excuse to not buy the thing that could change your entire outlook on life. Third of all, my girl friends are the best people in the entire world and I could never give enough thanks for all of the insanely incredible women in my life.

As I previously mentioned, I have a lot of friends who have gone through breakups in the past year, me included, and there are a few things I’ve gathered. Firstly, going through a breakup can feel like you are mourning the loss of someone. In a sense, you have, and it is totally, 100% okay to feel like the world is crumbling down around you, at first. Here’s the thing, we have one life to live and every single day is a gift. I think that is the biggest outlook that can change anybody’s life. Realizing that some people are lucky if they make it to the next day, and waking up and counting your blessings can make all the difference on how your day will progress. I highly recommend waking up each morning and listing at least 3-5 things that you are thankful for, it will change your whole perspective. I feel like we all get so caught up in what is going to happen in the future, what regrets we have, the what-ifs of life, that we forget to wake up and remember that we are blessed to have the jobs we have, our health, our families, our friends, and everything else that makes this life so beautifully blessed. Don’t let one dumb guy determine how you feel about your entire life because I promise he is insignificant and you will find someone that treats you like a queen someday. (Trust me, my married friends have told me all their horrendous dating stories and now they are married to some of the most amazing men out there.)

Okay so back to my previous point, getting over heartbreak is the worst thing ever. I don’t wish it on my worst enemy (which I don’t have any of, but you get the expression). The thing is, I will never stop believing in love, and if you know anything about me at all, I love all things love. Weddings, couples, engagements, happy people in love, just love, I love it more than anything in the world, and I believe that every single person in the world has so much love to give and so much to receive, sometimes to a fault. To continue, as much as I love love, I believe it should never be forced and never given up on. My heart hurts when I see couples that are staying together in toxic relationships out of fear, or women staying with men, even though they have been unfaithful, just because they are scared to be alone or don’t realize that they are worth so much more than being treated like that. It hurts my heart more than anything to know that people stay together purely to show the world how much they are in love over social media, when they are secretly crying themselves to sleep every night. The truth is, love will find everyone, at the right time, for the right reason, with the right person, when it’s meant to be. Just because you’ve been hurt in the past doesn’t mean that every person out there is set out to hurt you the way someone else did. And there is no use living your life that way. Don’t seek it out, it will find you when it is supposed to. Focus on yourself and loving yourself.

Continuing on, know your worth, please please pretty please know your worth. There is nothing more important in the world than loving yourself and knowing that you deserve everything. (This is where the book mentioned above comes into play, she will tell you EXACTLY how you learn to love yourself. please please please do yourself a favor and read that book.) It kills me that people decide to settle because they don’t think they can do any better, or because they are scared to be alone, or because they want to be with someone so badly. I think that is one of the most difficult things. In an age of social media, and dating apps, where people are reduced down to their looks, we are so prone to comparing ourselves to every woman we see on social media. “She’s prettier, she’s skinnier, she has a better nose, her calves are hotter, her bag is more expensive, her skin is flawless, her outfit is on point,” all of these things and more, swirl through our head constantly, then we look at those with boyfriends and think that we need to be like that. What a sad world that is. I love my social media as much as the next girl, but sometimes I do wish we lived in a world without it. That’s why it’s so important, as women, to encourage each other and raise each other up, through it. Whether we like it or not, social media is a part of our world and we can use it to support other women. Go comment encouraging things on their posts, post supportive quotes about strong women, reach out to other women to collaborate or even if you just need help. We aren’t in this world alone and I think that we have the ability to reach others and help others as much as we can. You are worth so so so much and the world is a better place because of you. Loving yourself and realizing that you should never settle for anyone that is less than spectacular, will make your life so much better. Know that you deserve the best and don’t give in to anything but that. If you don’t know how much you deserve and you don’t love yourself, that is more important than finding someone else to do that for you. You sure can’t love anyone else if you can’t love yourself.

Lastly, know that everything happens for a reason. Whether you are religious or not, you have to believe that there is a meaning and purpose for everything. I believe God has a plan for every single person’s live, and whether it is God or coincidence or whatever it may be for you, every thing in this world happens for a reason. I can confidently look back at many times where I thought my life was crumbling down into a million pieces and now realize it was for the best. It may be a blessing in disguise, but I hope that later on you can look back and truly see the blessing that it was. I look at so many of the people in my life that seem so happy now with their current situations, and I truly think the secret is believing that everything will workout for the best, you just have to be patient and trust the process.

Finally, hold onto those that love you and care about you unconditionally. I am so blessed to be surrounded by the most incredible family and friends. My girl gang is more than I could ever ask for and they are there every single second of every day. Laughing, crying, grieving, cheering, every single emotion has been with them and they are the best. Find yourself a solid group of girls and you can really conquer the world.

I guess my main points that I’m trying to make is this: there is nothing more important than encouraging all the women around you, being hurt in the past doesn’t mean you will be hurt in the future, love and hold onto your friends tightly, and have faith that everything happens for a reason. If you need help, reach out, I promise there are hundreds of women who care and are there to support, me being one of them. Purchase the book!!! And know that you are beautiful, strong, smart, honest, kind, loving, and so much more, and that you are part of a community of gorgeous women, inside and out, who will help carry you to self love and believing in yourself. I’m not trying to be Jen Sincero here (READ HER BOOK), but I sure hope that I can light a little spark of love and light in your soul. As Monica from Friends once said, “Welcome to the real world! It sucks. You’re gonna love it!” Real life means real emotions, real complications, and real drama, but surround yourself with amazing people and have confidence that everything will work out for the best!!!

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